Confidence is often simultaneously paired with loudness or abrasiveness. Seeing someone in a room or office space loudly and firmly state their opinion or what they think often instills in us that this person is an extremely confident individual. We may think that they are the most confident person in the room, and occasionally this may be true, but more than likely, the most confident person in the room you are sitting in maybe a little less loud or abrasive with their words.
We often associate confidence with loudness, abrasiveness, or firmness because it can take confidence or bravery to loudly state what you think, especially if it goes against the grain. But– there is also a confidence that comes with knowing what you think is reasonable and smart and not needing to yell it across a boardroom. Do not confuse this with silencing your voice or not speaking your mind. By all means — if something needs to be said and no one else is willing to do it — you should say something. However, knowing that confidence does not manifest in one singular way can assist all of us in becoming more confident and owning our voices in our own individual ways. If you do not have a loud voice or you do not enjoy being the first one to speak, that is okay. Taking the time to listen to others first and then formulate or adjust what you think based on what your peers have to say is another form of confidence – it just does not get as much attention because it is not the loudest or most upfront form of self-confidence.
Some of the most confident people in a room are those who do not fire off their opinions first. Being sure of yourself and your competence can be shown through listening to what others have to say first. Listening to what other people have to say does not take away anything from you or what you would like to say — it can even make it better.
Finding that fine line between confidence and thoughtfulness can be difficult. You want to absorb what others have to say, but do not want to be taken advantage of or lose your voice in the room. Melissa Stires, of Stiresconsulting.com, has the experience to help guide you or your company through finding that balance. Melissa Stires has been a keynote speaker and vocalized to thousands of people around the world what being a confident, thoughtful, and kind leader looks like. She thinks that you can have both kindness and competency. They do not have to cancel each other out. If your company is in need of leadership coaching, Stiresconsulting.com and Melissa Stires have the experience to guide you and your business’s leaders through becoming confident, empathetic and well-rounded leaders.
Leadership that is confident, competent, AND thoughtful, or empathetic has the ability to completely change the environment and trajectory of a business or group. Well-rounded leaders know when it is time to speak up and when it is time to listen and absorb information and opinions from others. Learning from and listening to others makes all of us better leaders.