Both career and parental burnout are something I know about. Believing asking for any help in any area of my life to be utter failure, I tried to conquer the world alone. This act of ‘heroisim’ , my ideal of doing it all to prove I was competent at home and in work, resulted in mental and physical exhaustion, chronic insomnia, and depression.
I’m not the only one, obviously. Deloitte study shows that 77 percent of respondents say they have experienced employee burnout at their current job, with more than half citing more than one occurrence. The survey also uncovered that employers may be missing the mark when it comes to developing well-being programs that their employees find valuable to address stress in the workplace’.[1] Even the most successful CEO in the world has a lot of support, or they should because we need to work together to look after wellbeing in the home.
As parents and carers, we are particularly vulnerable to burnout owning to the 360 demands on our mental, physical, emotional, and practical resources. Parental Burnout is an emerging field of study but the evidence of this impact on family life is worrying according to the article published in the National Library of Medicine.
If you or someone you love is suffering burnout in any area, or verging on it, here are some tips:
- Fall in love with the word ‘no’. You can say no, you do not have to do it all.
- Delegate as much as possible. In the workplace who can you share the load with? At home can the children help? Can you shuffle around the finances and outsource any jobs?
- Boundaries are your friend. Identify what your non-negotiables are, articulate them to those they concern, articulate the consequence (make it something reasonable and possible). If this boundary is crossed and carry out that consequence.
- Boundaries can be flexible. It might seem paradoxical from the previous points but sometimes you can negotiate a real point of stress within the workplace or home is rigid boundaries that make no sense or have no context. So ask yourself what is non-negotiable? What is flexible?
- Ask for help! There is no shame in the struggle, whatever the situation we cannot do anything if we’re burned out, so who can you look to for support?
- Sleep is VERY important, so ask yourself how can you get more? Is it quality sleep? How is your sleep hygiene?
- Support energy and health with nutritional foods exercise, and making time for your hobbies.
- Put your own oxygen mask on first, self-care is resilience work if you have a pivotal role as a caregiver in the family, in your job, or lots of responsibility in a business. If you are not well looked after then no one will be, so put yourself in the driving seat of your own wellbeing.
Burnout can be characterised by feelings of helplessness, extreme fatigue, disillusioned and lack of focus, a great guide for signs to look out for can be found here
Mandy Manners is an addictive behaviors expert and co-author of Love Yourself Sober: A Self Care Guide to Alcohol-Free Living for Busy Mothers with Kate Baily
[1] https://www2.deloitte.com/us/en/pages/about-deloitte/articles/burnout-survey.html
